Birthing Better

Hi Ruchika:

Thanks for your question. Once we figure out how to have questions and answers displayed on the FAQ then your's is a great one.
You are actually talking about two separate yet interconnected topics:

1) Discomfort with doctors

2) Becoming skilled

Become skilled! Any time you start is the right time.

There are many women/men who actually start before they get pregnant.

In fact, Kristen (one of our Pink Kit affiliates) discovered The Pink Kit Package right after her wonderful 3rd home birth.

She then went through and experienced all of the skills and did all of the exercises ... including the Internal Work.

When she fell pregnant with her fourth she was already much more skilled. Time integrates the skills between the mind and body. Visit her week-by-week 'how-to' The Pink Kit Package
The more skilled you are the more you will put your discomfort of doctors in perspective.

Let's address that issue. It's not uncommon.

Becoming more skilled in all areas of your own health and wellness will help you use the medical profession and providers in the best way for yourself. Often people are afraid of doctors because they feel so unknowledgeable and unskilled.
When you are skilled, you're also more likely to pick a physician with whom you can talk.
So, the short answer to your question ... become skilled now! 

Hi Emma:

The material in the hard copy Pink Package Package and the digital download is exactly the same. With Internet speeds getting faster and computers with more memory, we wanted to make digital downloads possible. While the material is exactly the same, digital downloads save the customer postage costs and the resource is immediately available ... no need to wait. Some expectant parents find us at 37 weeks so time is of the essence. 

The digital download does only suit newer computers and high speed access. The DVD still takes time to download, it's a big file. Thanks for asking. Others will want to know. 

Hi Amanda

Great question about the digital download. Until a few years ago most of us didn't have high speed Internet and we couldn't offer such a thing. How times change quickly! 

Yes, as soon as you purchase The Pink Kit Package you will be able to download all 4 resources: DVD, 2 audio CDs and 1CD with 4 PDF books. The DVD is a large file and can take quite a while to download. If you have any trouble just email us at info@birthingbetter.com and we'll help you right away. 

Hi Amy

Thanks for contacting us about The Pink Kit and your experience. BTW on our www.birthingbetter.com on top menu is a place for you to write your Pink Kit story. This is a new website and new web feature so we don't have many. Please put yours in. We also have a Pink Kit Method Facebook Page you are more than welcome to join and add your thoughts.

Here's the rub ... and we have over 40 years of experience so we understand the dilemma. On the one hand, you self-learned from our imperfect resource and that's why you found the skills helpful. On the other hand you now want to 'teach' the skills. Common Knowledge Trust knows from our vast experience that the former works and the latter doesn't.

This is good news! Instead of teaching it, become a distributor and encourage the type of self-responsibility you took. This means you can teach the things you want and inspire families to take their own responsibility in self-learning skills. You can sell, loan or rent the resources. You can also tell others how you went through the resources and how you got past the old fashioned presentation and lack of 1,2,3 order.

It's free to join and Lynley (our administrator at info@birthingbetter.com) can help you sort out the details. Having people like yourself telling others that they must self learn is where the empowerment lies. We also have a sales flier on the wholesaler registration site and you can hang that up around town and sell to any expectant parent. This then grows a skilled birthing population. Your voice and experience helps people understand that being taught is not the same as self-learning. When we are taught by others we often do not own the skills. When we self-learn we do!

Hi Azure

Thanks for your question. There is NO order for working through the DVD, 2 audio CDs and 4PDF books. Why you ask? It's sort of like learning to drive a car. You don't first learn to steer before you learn about the gas pedal, breaks, turning, looking in mirrors etc. The very best way to work with The Pink Kit is to browse the material. Pick what you want to learn first and go from there. Your purpose is to learn to integrate the skills to one another.

At 32 weeks start The Internal Work (audio CD) even if you're still browsing the other skills. Don't hesitate to contact me with further questions ... wintergreen@birthingbetter.com

Hi Amy:

Love your questions and so will others. Birthing Better with The Pink Kit Method® is a WHOLE new approach to pregnancy and childbirth entirely from our viewpoint as expectant families. This is how we'd explain:

• None of us get pregnant to 'have' a Cesarean or vaginal birth. We all get pregnant to 'have' a baby ... or in your case more than one.
  
• This means that every Pink Kit family chose to prepare their pregnant body to become a birthing body ... as an expression of enjoyment (between us as partners/family) and manifestation of our role as parents.
• In other words, we knew that one day our baby/ies would be born and our role is always to work with his/her efforts to be born.
• This relationship between our pregnancy and the birth of our baby/ies never varied not under any circumstances.
• We also committed to learning then using the Birthing Better Pink Kit skills in our two equal yet different roles (birthing woman and coaching dad/other) during the journey our baby/ies took in order to come out of our pregnant/birthing body. We did this regardless of the way our baby/ies entered the world. We did this as an essential expression of our role as parents.

All other childbirth systems start off by separating types of birth. Birthing Better Pink Kit skills embrace the birth of all our babies. Pink Kit families birth better in any birth they and their baby experience even though the birth might not be as they hoped or wished for.

No matter how your twins come out of your body, you are doing the activity of giving birth while they are doing the activity of being born. 

Don't hesitate to ask more questions. 

Hi there

 Yes, our DVD does play worldwide either as a PAL (as in the UK and most of the world) and NTSC (in the US and Canada). You can also order Birthing Better with The Pink Kit Method® as a digital download. Remember there is 1 DVD, 2 audio CDs and 1 CD with 4 ebooksPDF.

Hi Lane Thanks for getting in touch about your particular up and coming birth. The PK is all about skills. 'Information' about birth in general and specifically about freebirth is available elsewhere. Birthing Better with The Pink Kit Method® is all about skills, skills and more skills based on our human body. 1) These skills come from families and the method evolved in the 1970s because families from diverse backgrounds, individual situations and unique needs wanted practical skills that worked for them as a family in any birth that unfolded. Couples wanted to work together with their baby's efforts to be born. 2) Although we are all individuals, we all blink, cough and can tighten up our rectum. We share a human body so the skills prepare the pregnant human body to become a birthing body (you'll find out if after two births your partner is still amazed at how much she didn't know about her own body and you'll gain the confidence of understand her 3-D body in relationship to your 3-D baby). 3) All men have been born from a woman's body so men are hard-wired to understand birth (no woman has been inside a man's body). 4) Together a couple can learn and practice skills that are based on this shared human body experience yet from their two roles ... giving birth and helping a woman to give birth. This means a woman becomes conscious of working with her baby's efforts to be born and you get to observe and hear how she is responding to that relationship. If she is totally handling, managing, dealing, coping and working with the journey her baby is making then you will observe how a woman births a child. If she (even momentarily) is 'reacting' rather than 'responding' to the pain/discomfort of cervical dilation then you'll be able instantly be able to see and hear that and have the skills to help. Because you'll have learned about her body birth will be a process of how you can help get a big object out of her container while reducing potential trauma or delays. 5) If for any reason you transfer to hospital, you will have the skills to continue to work together. Where your baby is born or under what circumstances should never prevent you from skillfully birthing your baby. My son (29 years ago) was born 8 weeks premature. I was out of state, staying with strangers and went to their local hospital because they would never have been comfortable with my giving birth on their property under the circumstances. I just used the skills and birthed him myself. I would have behaved no differently had I been anywhere else even though there were a few fiddly things happening to me and around me. Birth goes on no matter where or what. Attached is a yet-to-be-released resource ... 3 Births ... see attached. You'll understand more once you read it. Also browse through the expectantfathersblog below. Birthing Better (was what we all wanted to do ... women and partners) with The Pink Kit (the original packaging was designed as 'pink' which I hated but people liked and 'kit' was the 'tool kit' of skills for men) Method (because these are the skills to use during the activity of giving birth, being born and helping that happen)

Hi Mary

We have a audio CD in the Just for Series ... for women who want to have a VBAC. These CDs were made to explain the bigger picture of why it's so important to take a skills-based approach to pregnancy and childbirth particularly when wanting to achieve a successful vaginal birth after a previous Cesarean. They were produced 10 years ago.

Recently we've been creating more resources to more deeply explain the necessity and the written PDF became available 2010.

We make these available because people are still very hesitant to purchase a resource that might be like ones available elsewhere .... It takes time to explain to people that Birthing Better with The Pink Kit Method® is unique, for all pregnancies and comprehensives skills for all births and equally important for pregnancy women and coaching dad/other.

Neither of these are the skills. The skills are in The Pink Kit Package. That has a DVD (the body preparation), 2 audio CDS ... Internal Work and Birth Journey and a CD with 4 ebooks (Managing Skills, Companion guide, New Focus: Breath, Language and Touch and the PK book).

There's a free list of the most important parts of these resources that every pregnant family should work through from 24 weeks onward ... but if you're 36 weeks just speed up your learning. Any preparation is better than none, the more the better. Any skills used are better than none and the more the better.

For the past 40 years childbirth has existed in a 'choice-based approach' and letting a big object out of our body requires many more skills.

So, if you just want to get stuck into learning the skills then skip both of the other resources and purchase the PKPackage. You might also like to read any of the 3 free PDFs if you still need to understand the impact these skills have on families

Hi Phub Zam


It's some times difficult to know exactly at what moment you are in labor. If you have worked through The Pink Kit Package, done the Internal Work, learned The Pelvic Clock and Directed Breathing etc then during this strange period as you move from being pregnant to knowing you are in labor then just start using those skills and periodically check yourself.

In other words, begin to use your skills so that once labor starts and labor pains become intense then you'll have developed a habit of using skills to respond to the rapid changes in your body.

During this transition period between pregnancy and labor is a time to keep calming yourself down and learning how your baby is preparing your body. Each tightening of your uterus now becomes a message from your baby.
In this early phase if your baby is just preparing your body gently then the 'pre-labor' contractions will not get longer, closer together or more intense. That's ok ... just keep doing the skills, learning, becoming comfortable.
If this pre-labor continues for more than 12 hours then use the skills in Managing Skills resource on Niggling Labor. Instead of getting tired and irritable just work with your partner or family with this question: 'What do I want to do now?' This is the best question to ask until your contractions get longer, stronger and closer together. Do something then do something again ... walk, eat, go to a movie, shower ... keep living your life, using your skills and learning the rhythm.
Once the contractions get longer, stronger and closer together then you can 'check yourself' again to feel for 'change' inside. The tissue up there will get thinner and smoother. Then at some point you'll be able to feel the the rim of your cervix.

Your Birth Center probably has a rule or suggestion that you don't arrive before your contractions are 5 minutes apart and lasting 1 min long. You'll need to check with them.
As this transition period moves into 'active labor' then the contractions will get longer, stronger and closer together every hour or so. This does become obvious. If that's not happening then drop back into 'What do I want to do now.' You don't need to rush into being in labor. Your baby is giving you and your body time to change gently over time if the pre-labor lingers. Just keep working with the skills and balance doing things and resting. 

Hi Gina:

So happy you reached out to ask those questions.

Here's where these skills come from: .... any pregnant family, with any type of circumstances because pregnancy will eventually lead to the activity of giving birth (from your perspective) and from being born (your baby's perspective).
So ... get joy from preparing your pregnant body to become a birthing body. Then learn skills so you can work with your baby's efforts to be born no matter how your baby is born ... even whether you labor and have a vaginal birth, labor and have a Cesarean birth or a non-laboring Cesarean delivery. Skills are what you can use to always work with your baby's birthing journey because together you are taking a journey.

Second. Many men think pregnancy and birth is a woman's world. However, all men were born from a woman's body which means men are hard-wired to know about birth. No woman has ever been inside a man's body. He needs to know this.
He also needs to know that the skills to let a big object out of your body are based on our human body which we share. By helping you learn to open your body, he protects both you and his child. By helping you work through the process of letting this big object out, he is showing his child that birth is an activity that a family can do together. What many men need to understand is that giving birth is an exercise in plumbing ... you need to open up a container to let a big object come down, through and out.

Birthing Better is about practical skills.

He can browse the below expectant fathers blog. You can download the free PDF on www.birthingbetter.com called 3 Births and ask him to just read the fathers' Birth Stories. Then download the free 'must-do' guide so you cherry pick the most important skills to learn over the next weeks/months.
Also welcome him to be in touch. Skills are not rocket science and will give you confidence ... and they are reasonably funny to learn. Even if he just learns the Breathing skills in New Focus PDF in the Pink Kit Package that will help.
These skills evolved in the early 1970s with families ... not just women. Men wanted practical skills that worked alongside birth professionals and those that didn't irritate the crap out of the woman.

Hope this helps.

Finally, if you want to use TENS no worries. Use whatever you want. Look at it like driving a car. You have to learn heaps of skills, practice until you're able to perfect them, take a test (the birth). But when you or your husband drive now, both of you must continually use and adapt those multiple skills at every single moment you are driving no matter the conditions, how you feel or what is happening to or around you. So, learn, practice and use your skills at every single moment during your birthing journey ... and you can hate every single second but know you've managed the activity well.
 

Thanks for contacting us. I do have a less common name ... Wintergreen, but at 67 I assume people will just roll with it.
Hi Amy:

On www.birthingbetter.com is a free download of a 'must-do list' week-by-week of The PKPackage. Ideally start about 24 weeks however if you've discovered this at 38 weeks then browse through the material and start anywhere that strikes your fancy.

There are also 3 other free PDF resources: 2 Birth Plans, 3 Births and 3 Birth roles.

Now, to the question about how Bradley and Birthing Better with The Pink Kit Method® differ.

 1) The PK skills come from just ordinary people while Bradley comes from a doctor

2) Bradley, like Lamaze, seeks to achieve more 'natural birth'. The PK focuses on the fact 100% of pregnant women will give birth. We believe that all pregnant women should prepare their pregnant body to become a birthing body then learn skills so that no matter how a baby is born the mother and father can always have skills to work with their baby's efforts. This means the skills work in all births and adapt. My daughter and her husband had their first baby a year ago. She bled at 31 weeks and spent the next 8 at home not certain whether she would have a non-laboring c/s or a trial of labor. She and her husband thoroughly enjoyed learning the skills and preparing for their son's birth. They used the skills during every doctor visit until it was determined a c/s would be safer. The day before the surgery, along with her Braxton-Hicks contractions they used their skills. On the day of surgery they used their skills on way to hospital, while being prepped, during their son's birth and in recovery. On the other hand, my son and his wife gave birth 5 months ago and also prepared with the resource. She had a 4 hour birth from start to finish, loved every moment. Had extensive 2 degree tears and she said: 'We didn't do enough internal work ... next time we will'. So The PK is about developing a relationship in pregnancy to 'how-to' do the activity of giving birth no matter what is happening to or around you.

3) The PK is just skills for both mothers/fathers-to-be and based on our human body and behaviors. This means it's easy for men to learn the skills and become comfortable with how to help a 3-D object come through your 3-D body.
 

Hi Amelia Start any time! The closer you get to birth the more motivated you are! And that's wonderful. Sure, it's ideal to start at 24 weeks but there you go. Life is not perfect. Browse through all the resources and start where you want and what motivates you most. Then you'll be led by what skills you're learning to learn something else. It's a bit like learning to drive a car. You didn't just learn to steer before you learned about the gas pedal or looking in the mirrors. You have to learn to put the skills together as you take the 'birth journey' ... a journey over time. You can definitely apply skills at every moment of that journey as you work with your baby's efforts to be born.

Hi ... we only sell The Pink Kit Package as one resource. Mapping the Pelvis alone is like learning about the spark plugs in your car unrelated to anything else. You'll never regret learning all the birth and birth coaching skills.

(WE RECEIVED THE ABOVE EMAIL THROUGH OUR 'CONTACT' AND NOT THROUGH FAQ SO I POSTED IT BECAUSE OTHERS NEED TO READ THIS) Love your email! Please let me speak to him directly. Hello father-to-be .. husband of Sabrina. The PKP evolved in the early 1970s by families like yours so men/fathers had as much input as women/mothers. 1) We had to learn to speak a common language and that turned out to be our human body. 2) Partners really, really wanted to work together during pregnancy to prepare for the birth of their baby. This meant that fathers-to-be who often feel uncertain about what to do and how they will feel now could share this common body language set of skills together. This had a profound impact of men. They learned about a woman's body in a different way and realized how similar we are. This grew confidence. 3) The practical skills focused fathers on what they could 'do' rather then focus on what was happening to or around them. EVen helping his partner do the Internal Work changed a man from seeing his partner as 'lover' to realizing how important it was to help her open up and let out their baby. This matured men AND it became fascinating to help his partner soften the internal tissue of their baby's birth passage. This settled men as well. Once they could really 'feel' the baby and 'know' what happens inside get the part of a man's brain going into 'practical' mode. Birth is an exercise in plumbing ... big object having to open up a diaphragm (cervix), move down through a tube (pelvis) and out a soft passage (vagina). This changed the brain and settled the nerves. Remember ANXIETY = UNCERTAINTY x POWERLESSNESS. 4) Reading the expectantfathersblog also helped men understand what skills he can grow alongside the biological imperative of growth that the pregnant woman and baby are doing. This helps men/fathers mature their skills so they become ready to help at birth. 5) Having skills means you move into the person who helps your birthing partner cope, manage, deal with and work with the natural occurring pain of labor. It's called 'labor' because it's hard work. yes, there is pain and you absolutely MUST read the 'Pain' booklets asap ... as well as start with the Internal Work Audio. Once you sort out that 'pain' is not a 'problem' and not threatening then you'll settle down to using the incredible capability of men/fathers to 'observe' and 'listen' to how the birthing partner is working through the 5 phases of each contraction. Skills make this manageable EVEN when it's a big experience and occurs around the medical assessments, monitoring and procedures. Men/fathers are brilliantly skilled birth coaches. Brilliant because they 'get it'. Their job is to help their partner feel in control of the contractions by using skills on a moment-to-moment basis. Now, there are a few people ... not just men ... who feel queasy. Here's my personal suggestion (it's not part of The PK) get a homeopathic tissue salt called Kali Phos. This is calming. Suck 4-3x/day for as long as necessary and take it with you. Over the past 45 years tens of thousands of families have used The PK skills. About 1% of men feel queasy ... the vast majority feel this way because they don't feel skilled and feel they will be pushed into a situation that will make them feel unsettled. They are also confused about labor 'pains' particularly when the contractions intensify. They believe the woman is 'suffering' and their heart hurts with compassion. Once the plumber's mind takes hold then they realize birth is an activity that both the mother and baby is doing and the pain is the stretching open of the diaphragm ... it's closed more tightly then your rectum ... sort of like if a grapefruit came down through the hole in your penis. You'd do better with skills! All of those fathers/men were wonderful, wonderful skilled birth coaches. Not one fainted, not one felt out of control, left out or confused about their role. Develop your team and you'll do fine. it's hard work but men like to work hard. And what's the most important for you to understand is that women do not intuitively know how to birth any more then a hungry person intuitively knows what foods are safe or poisonous. We need to learn skills and once they are learned we 'know' and once we 'know' we feel confident and behave confidently. Hope that helps you take a first step. My other suggestion is that you read whatever booklets you need to read in the order you need to read them rather then think you need to read the same ones at the same time. This resource is marketed to pregnant women but written for expectant fathers. That's how important the original families valued the need to create a method that was equally skilled for both mothers and fathers to be. Now, having your mother and father in law learning the same skills is WONDERFUL! This means you will all speak a common language and share the same set of skills so you can easily take turns. This is terrific.

hanks for your query. We do offer distributor accounts. You'll find them on the top menu of www.birthingbetter.com you'll find a registration for both a wholesale account and a website affiliate account. Our discounts are 3-20 resources = 25% + shipping. We encourage people like yourself to include the 'cost' in your 'fee' and 'give' one to every client. 20+ resources =40% + shipping. We know there are a number of 'skills-based' approaches to childbirth. The PKP is definitely unique: 1) It's based on our human body as it applies to doing the 'activity' of giving birth whether a labor/vag or labor/surgical or non-labor c/s. 2) It's practical and not philosophical so it works really well with other types of childbirth preparation. We'd LOVE to get this translated but it's a huge resource ... best started at 24 weeks. There's a DVD ( 8 segments), 2 audio and 40 booklets. If you click on the PKP that will lead you to what's in the resource. Also if you go to top menu 'who we are' you'll find 'statistics'. There's a Powerpoint. Yes, New Zealand does have a Midwifery Model of Care throughout the country however, changing who the birth provider is or giving women 'choice' has not achieved the desired 'outcome results'. However, self-learning families always birth better even when there are lots of medical assessments, monitoring and procedures (or 'interventions'). We'd love to work with you ... and if you can raise funds for translation that would be wonderful. We are a NZ registered charitable Trust with 'equivalency' approval to raise funds in the US. We also need to eventually redo this Revision so we go back to a book and make the DVD more contemporary. Please feel free to correspond. This method evolved in the early 1970s from families. It does not work well being taught to people in classes or one on one. Gosh, there are so many reasons why not. We can discuss that as you wish. Hope that answers some of your questions.