Intentional Behavior vs. Instinct
In the present trend in childbirth, the message is that giving birth is an “instinctive and intuitive” process. If that were true, a birthing woman would instinctively relax in order to facilitate her baby’s passage through her body. But when human beings experience pain, whether from a toothache, headache, injury, or illness, or giving birth, the intuitive response is to tense up, not relax. The fact of giving birth alone is not sufficient to override your body’s reaction to pain. As one woman said: “Don’t tell me that I’m having a baby and that’s why this is happening. I know that. That’s not the issue—I don’t like the PAIN.”
The next thing that same woman told everyone is this: “Don’t tell me I did well when I know I did not handle the contractions well.” This woman speaks for many millions of women worldwide, regardless of the message being given.
We all want great life memories.
When it comes down to it, although we remember snapshots of what others do to us or around us, our memories are mostly composed of how we ourselves handled specific situations and experiences. Nowhere is this more true than in childbirth. If we don’t have the appropriate skills, or have the skills and do not use them, we often resort to shame, blame, and guilt, and we are left with negative memories. But creating positive birth memories is totally within your power! You just need to learn the difference between positive birthing behaviors and negative birthing behaviors, AND you need to learn how to maintain the former and reduce the latter.
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