22 July 2009
The last entry was a bit confusing so I’m going to explain again … hopefully better. Most often we do not see ourselves as the baby we once were. Somehow ‘baby’ is a separate species that somehow transforms into ‘child’ which we seem to identify with. We can see ourselves as the ‘child’ but have lots of trouble seeing ourselves as ‘the baby’.
It’s important to see the ‘baby’ part of our humanity and learn the lessons of ‘reading’ non-verbal language. Fortunately, The Dog Whisperer can help.
In these very early months of pregnancy the changes going on with your baby and the woman in your life reveal themselves much more subtly then in later months when you can see a big belly and feel a baby kick. Yet, once your baby is born the signs it uses to tell you what it needs are very subtle compared to when a child can talk.
The reason all babies have generalized yet subtle behaviors is directly due to the fact that your baby is waiting to be taught what you do, what its cultural way of doing things is taught. Our shared humanity stops at the point where we experience our cultures then we become different from one another.
If we were always the same then your baby would be born doing things the way we all do things but we are different by culture and your baby needs to learn by being taught by you.
In order for you to be able to teach what you want your baby to learn from the moment its born has a lot to do with the confidence you have … and all the other qualities we’ve discussed. If you have not used pregnancy to grow these qualities then your newborn can seem like an alien.
Your baby is not an alien, its you in your baby form. Over the rest of pregnancy you can extend these qualities so that they are fully developed as soon as your baby is born:
- Attention to detail
- Being able to see what needs to be done
- Growing a second set of arms (I’ll explain later)
- Growing two more sets of eyes (I’ll explain later)
There is nothing sadder than a man who is afraid and intimidated by their newborn. This occurs for three primary reasons:
- No one has helped the man to ‘become’ a father
- The man has not had the appropriate skills to help the pregnant woman prepare for giving birth.
- The man has not had the appropriate birth coaching skills to really work with his baby’s efforts to be born in whatever birth unfolds
Women can also feel very uncomfortable with newborns but someone has to learn how to care for the baby. It is often left to the woman particularly if she is breastfeeding which is also a learned skill.
If you’re included to do some type of ceremony during these first few months then please do one.
- Do whatever you can to honor this huge transition in your life.
- Do whatever you can to honor the changes you are going through.
- Do whatever you can do to educate other men, the woman you are with, your family and friends of the importance of this early transitional period of ‘becoming’.
You are important to creating a whole new change in pregnancy, childbirth, families, fatherhood and relationships.
You can talk to people about the importance for our societies when we honor, respect and help men grow into ‘being’ a father through this period of life.