28/10/09

Here you are standing on the border between pregnancy and birth. This means you stand on the border between ‘becoming’ a father and ‘being’ one.

Perhaps by tomorrow morning your baby will be born. Can you see where ‘clarity’ is a guiding quality at this time?

We hope you’ve worked through The Pink Kit and have clarity about your skills as the birth support/coach. If you have The Pink Kit and haven’t learned the skills enough, there is always right now! Clarity, clarity and more clarity. Clarity is also about being in the present … being here and now.

These qualities are growing because they are needed during the birthing process and with your newborn. The transformation in yourself as a man to growing your father skills is getting more focused. The end of pregnancy focuses all your senses toward ‘The Birth’. Birth focuses your senses on getting to know and taking care of your child.

Being a father focuses you on the relationship you have to your child’s mother.

Clarity, focus. These are qualities of our human mind, unique to us as human beings. We can intentionally focus. This is clarity.

We’re almost coming to the natural end of this blog. Once your baby is born you are no longer an expectant father.

How can this blog move you through the Gateway of childbirth? I’ll try in the next entry or so and then it’s goodbye and good luck.

You’ve done your work, you’ve grown your fatherhood qualities when you had a choice not to. you’ve taken pregnancy as the time to mature yourself just as your baby and its mother had to do.

Now the three of you are meeting during the birthing process so you can all work together to meet. Your baby wants to be born and start its life so he or she can move through the childhood phase, becoming an adult, becoming then being a parent.

So during this transition period just before the birth, take time to enjoy your past growth. Go out together in your last meals without a child/or another child. Celebrate the before time and begin to put it behind you. This will give you a new focus … the birth … put that behind you … a new focus … being a father.

I want you to stand up and breathe into your body … come into your body totally. Be you. Feel yourself being you. Feel how your chest and heart feels stronger now that you have grown your fatherhood qualities. Feel your pride in yourself … first as a human being, second as a man, then as a father and as a partner (of the 4 this is the only one that is variable, the other 3 are inescapable.)

Give yourself permission to remember this moment … being totally yourself.