Fear connected to a vbac is not uncommon
As a father-to-be it's easy to feel totally out of control when your wife wants to have a vbac (vaginal birth after a previous c/s section) and there were REAL medical reasons for the previous surgical birth.
Birth is so unknown and death based on personal decisions feels overwhelming. Please listen to the audio and learn more about how to balance fear and anxiety about the coming birth.
We're fortunate. We live in modern societies with very sophisticated medical care. In some ways we actually have come to believe 'nothing bad should happen'.
As hard as it is, you must face the death of your partner and your children as well as friends and relatives no matter how they die ... and death is not always the worse that can happen.
If you feel totally panicked then you need to do some research. Here are some things you need to look at:
- Is there anything wrong with your partner or baby's health right now?
- What occurred last time that threatened your baby's life? And how was the problem assessed?
- What is the likelihood that there will be a problem next time compared to any other problem that could cause death or injury at other times of Life? In other words, will you feel the same if something happens during the birth or any other time?
The last question is the most important. Statistics will tell you that your child or partner is much more likely to die at any other time than being born or giving birth. We just focus on that experience because it's so unknown.
There are several options:
- Your partner can choose (or feel pressured) to have a non-laboring Cesarean.
- You and your partner can learn The Pink Kit birth and birth coaching skills so no matter what birth, you will use your skills to work with your baby's efforts to be born.
- You can choose to do a trial of labor and see how things go.
Whichever way you resolve your fear, try to take it down a notch into 'anxiety'. Then live every moment asking 'is there a problem right now?' If not then calm your anxiety.
Your very, very best approach to your fear of a VBAC is to become a skilled coaching dad. With skills you'll be able to work on a moment to moment basis with what is happening right now. This will permit you to meet any challenges that might arise. Birth is safe and birth is unsafe ... so is Life.
You can also learn more as an expectant father.